7 Things I Don’t Mind Sharing About My Hysterectomy

Two weeks ago I had a total abdominal hysterectomy. Prior to my surgery I did a lot of research on the internet (because the internet never lies) about what to expect. I learned a lot at hystersisters.com as well as other places, that was really helpful.

I had several friends tell me about their hysterectomies ( who knew that it was such a popular procedure?) and honestly, some of their stories were more scary than helpful.

I don’t think my pain has been that bad. The only thing I remember about the recovery room is that when they tried to bring me out I felt the most intense pain I had ever felt in my life. I believe that I saw Scotty and he said something like “I think she’s going to blow” or maybe it was the anesthesiologist – I passed out, so who knows?


  1. Right after my surgery I discovered that the ability to poop and pass gas had become the most important thing in my life. Having been forewarned, I took dulcolax stool softeners to the hospital with me and then promptly forgot that I had them. I walked  as much as I could and was given Maalox and Milk of Magnesia and heaven only knows what else, but I still didn’t pass gas until my 2nd day in hospital. I did not eat very much the first few days, mostly drank juice, hot tea and soup. I had no appetite. Once I started eating, I got full really quickly and felt as if I would just burst. Going number two is not easy, I take a stool softener at least onc ea day and prior to my surgery, I watched this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqdNEx81d2Q.
  2. Painkillers made me feel invincible which only lead to more pain, and then..I realized that my doctor had prescribed a finite amount of Percocet and 800 mg Ibuprofen and I was in a panic. What really happened was that in the hospital they gave me two Percocet every four hours no matter what my pain level was. So I got home and …took two Percocet every four hours. Now some people tell me that their painkillers knocked them out and their husbands had to wake them up to take their meds. this did not happen to me. I woke up in pain multiple times during the night , which sucked only because I am and always have been an awesome sleeper, I lay my head on the pillow at night and I wake up when the alarm goes off, period. I am desperately hoping that the good (sleep) times will return. My doctor prescribed Ambien to help me sleep, I took it two nights in a row but still woke up in the middle of the night, so I stopped because I did enough drugs in the 80s thanks.
  3. There is such a thing as doing too much. I had visitors every single day my first week home. Visitors are really draining, I didn’t want to lay in bed and have people visit my bedside, so I would get up, comb my hair , put on decent clothes and sit with them. I also ventured out to joanns to buy yarn .I realized about 3 days into the first week that I was overdoing it, because I had lots of body aches and could not sleep. But that goes back to the painkillers, they make you feel like you weren’t just gutted and stitched up.
  4. Food literally tastes like crap for a couple of days. The nice lady from the hospital kitchen called me every meal for my order – and every meal I drank tea and sent everything else back. Also things that I like and enjoy doing, I just can’t be bothered with sometimes. Reading, watching TV, drinking coffee, crocheting.
  5. Let’s talk about staples. I read a forum post that was about four pages long, where someone wanted to know if it hurt to have your staples out. Everyone said NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT, NO PAIN involved. Only one person said “yes, it hurts like hell”. But who’s going to listen to that one lonely voice? At 9 days post-op, my husband took me to the doctor to have my staples removed. My staples had been the bane of my existence for nine days and I was happy to have them out…until the nurse pulled the first one. There were I think 15 to 25 staples, the pain increased as she moved from my navel to my pelvis, some of them were scabbed over, I squeezed her hand so hard that I don’t know how she was able to continue. afterwards the doctor came in and gave me a lecture about doing  too much ( ok my doctor is female and it was more like when your mother has discovered one of your transgressions and you wish she’d just shut up and beat you already). So I promised to stay in bed for the next two weeks and she gave me a shot of something in my hip ( I do hate needles) which put me in bed for the rest of the day.
  6. I went back to work my first day home ( I work on the computer so I don’t have to leave the house). My office is on the top floor of our house. Before I went in to the hospital, the hubby and I set up my dining room as my recovery office and patted ourselves on the back for thinking of it. It turns out that it’s probably not a good idea to sit up in a chair working for hours on end when your stomach is held together with industrial sized staples. Please see number 5. We ordered an over bed hospital table right after my doctor’s appointment and I wish that we had done that in the first place.
  7. Menopause- since they took everything, I assume that menopause will come soon. So far I’ve had instances of sweating at night – nothing more  than my usual night sweats no sheet soaking or any of that. I have not had any hot flashes. I asked my mother, she laughed and said she had never experienced any of the symptoms. Here’s hoping I take after her.


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The Elephant in the Room| How I Crossed My Racial Divide

guesswhoscomingtodinnerBack in 1997 when my teenage son began dating the blonde haired, blue-eyed girl next door, my reaction can almost be called hypocritical. After all, hadn’t I spent the years after my divorce specifically dating only Caucasian males?

Well perhaps it was this specificity in my past choices, which led me to believe (as many still do) that just as lesbians and gay men “choose” to be homosexual, so do teenagers “choose” to date outside of their race.  I was distraught over my son’s choice because I felt that in choosing to date a white girl, he was rejecting his  Black mother, and all of the other Black women in his family tree.

So, what did I do? Well what could I do?  You know from my previous posts that I love my children just the way that God gave them to me – unconditionally. And, for  that reason, I would never allow them to feel less than loved by me.  When my son was 5, he said to me “Mommy, how come you’re white and we’re black”.  Hmmm,  even at 5 my boy had deep thoughts ; as you well know, I am not white, but I am less brown than my children are and I mention this only to illustrate that kids don’t start seeing color and differences until we point them out.

When it comes to people, our childrens’  likes and dislikes are based on their feelings about those people, and race and ethnicity don’t even come into play for them. That is until we start to point it out. I think that my reaction to his choice of girlfriend freaked my son out because I am the last of the hippie chicks, the love everybody equally generation, the don’t judge a person by what’s on the outside school of thought.

And there I was being a big fat hypocrite when my son did exactly as he was taught and didn’t judge the book by it’s cover!

12 years later I am older, wiser and more accepting. I know now that you love who you love, and like Michael Jackson so eloquently stated “it don’t matter if you’re Black or White” . I know that my childrens choices when it comes to their partners is not a rejection of me or their race. I believe that if we leave them be, our children will obliterate the racial divide – if we let them.

Unfortunately, I saw on Mamapedia that there are parents who are now entering the struggle.  I have a friend who is white and her  teenage daughter likes  a Black  child in her grade. They are unofficially dating, I don’t have a problem with it, but my friend does, even though she has never mentioned it to me.  I feel like there is a big old elephant in the room every time we are together, that there is something we should talk about but don’t. We discuss husbands, diets, raising kids – you name it. But I see the elephant out of the corner of my eye, and I so want to mention him.

I know in my heart, that she will come around on her own, 12 years from now she will probably laugh about this and wonder why the situation upset her so much. You see when our children date outside of their race it’s not about us, and if we will remove ourselves from the equation we would not be upset about the color of the other person and we would be free to judge them on “the content of their character”,  just the same way we judge anyone who dares to date our child.

I think it’s telling that this interracial relationship is totally accepted by her child’s peers. The future looks bright after all.

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The Slight Edge | Don’t Despise Your Day Of Small Beginnings

money comes quickly and easilyWhy Do Network Marketers Fail?
Is it because they aren’t committed?
Or perhaps they lack the skills due to poor training?
Or maybe they don’t have the time or money to do their business the way that they want/need to?


Maybe  network marketers don’t fail, maybe they expect a big breakthrough and when it doesn’t come they just give up.

Why do they give up? They give up because their expectations are out of proportion to their ability to deliver the goods. What the heck does that mean anyway? It means that we all have a  “big break” mentality, rather than a slow growth mentality. We fully expect all of our dreams to come true right now, and when that does not happen, we move on to a new job, new team, or new  dream rather than try again.

I bet that you look at the success of others and say “Why can’t that be me?” or worse yet “that will never be me”. Think about it even if Eben Pagan, Mike Dillard, Ellie Drake, Stephen Pierce and Dani Johnson came to your house, sat down with you, showed you what they did to be successful, and left you with the caveat “remember, it’s not an overnight thing” – only 1 out of 5 of you would actually get it. There will be four who wake up the next day (the next week, the next month, the next year) still wondering why their proximity to such successful people did not breed success for them.

The one person who did “get it” will :

  1. stay up late that night writing down her definite purpose
  2. wake up on day two or three or four with  a plan to achieve those goals
  3. implement the plan immediately based on what she learned from the “gurus”
  4. do little things every day that moves her closer to her definite purpose
  5. one day discover that people consider her to be  ” very successful”

Are these steps  pretty easy to do? Yes, she’s barely going to break a sweat at this pace.
Are these steps also pretty easy not to do?  Absolutely, she could watch 3 hours of  TV, go to bed early and wake up late. And she won’t even know that her life could be any different.

So, if she follows these steps will she wake up as a successful and rich network or internet marketer within a couple of weeks? Sorry, she probably  will not/

But  she’ll  keep on doing these minor little things that are just as easy not to do as they are to do, and then somewhere in month 6 sh ewill start to notice that her life has changed. Maybe she’s finally fitting into her skinny jeans, or she is getting a decent residual income check every month like clockwork, or people are falling all over themselves trying to get into her business, or buy her product, or just ask her what she knows that they don’t.

And all this because she used the slight edge principle of “small things compounded daily”, and there she is  riding up the success curve, while the other four people who got the same knowledge that she did from the “gurus” are still struggling, or have already given up, or are seeking advice from yet another guru.

Let me put this another way, you want to lose weight but you love to eat and you dislike exercise. Instead of trying to lose 20 pounds in 60 days, what if you decided to be thinner and healthier by this time next year. That’s 365 days – so if you cut just 10 calories from your diet each and every day for the next 365 days, by this time next month you’ll be eating 350 fewer calories per day. At that point you can decide to start with 10 minutes of walking and add one minute to your walk every day that you exercise, just one minute, a total no brainer.
Notice that I did not tell you to eliminate 350 or 3500 calories on day one, nor did I say do 45 minutes of exercise 5 days a week. Loving to eat and hating exercise, you’d do that for a week or two and then eat a box of oreos with ice cream and kick your treadmill to the curb. But those small daily /monthly totally not noticeable changes will find you thinner, healthier and at your goal in 365 days or less!

The same thing goes for building a retirement income, or getting to an income where you can quit your job via your business. Forget massive action if that’s not  what you are into, instead do one small thing every day that will build some momentum in your business:

Coach John Wooden says “little things make big things happen”, do you agree?  What small things are you doing each day to get to your definite purpose?

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How to Lose Weight Fast: Lose Weight Fast With Me (free, easy and fun!)

118/365 - hearts and barbells.
Image by just.K via Flickr

Are you trying to figure out how to lose weight fast?

Perhaps you want to look good naked for your honeymoon, or get back into your skinny jeans, or just be flirty fine at forty!  The holidays ruined the diet that I was on, and frankly I am not a long haul kind of girl. So I got to thinking about the diets that I have been on that actually helped me to lose weight fast. They had a few things in common:

  1. They were 2 weeks or less in lenght
  2. The food was inexpensive and stuff I was buying for the family anyway
  3. They were flexible
  4. You can see  results quickly

We all know that if you lose weight fast you may gain it back twice as fast, so you have to have a long range goal/plan if you want to take the weight off and keep it off. Additionally, it helps to have a buddy or two that you can diet with.  Well I don’t know your reason for wanting to lose weight fast (and I hope you will tell me), but I just got a consulting gig which means that after

being a stay at home Mom for 2 years and working in sweats and pajamas, I now have to wear clothes that haven’t touched my body since 2006 and guess what?

that’s right I look like Frosty the Snowman in everything that I have tried on. So

My First Goal

is to lose five to seven pounds in the next fourteen days.

The Plan

We (you and I) will follow only diets that are two weeks in length or less. First up is The Scarsdale Diet. In the past I have  lost as much as  30 pounds on this diet and kept it off for over two years, so I know that it works and is easy to do. This diet has a 2 weeks on and 2 weeks off plan, on our first two weeks off we will follow the Induction  Phase of the Atkins Diet ( another one that I was able to lose weight fast on).  Then we will go back on The Scarsdale Diet for 2 weeks, by which time some of you may have lost all the weight that you needed to lose and are ready for a good maintenance program. Since I have a lot to lose I will continue with Fat Smash ( or the 4 Day Diet, I haven’t read the book yet), may try the first 2 weeks of The South Beach Diet,  etc.

You may ask – since the Scarsdale Diet is so great and has a Keep Trim program for the two weeks off, why don’t we use that? Well frankly, even though the Keep Trim program does have rules, the freedom can lead to a bit of  weight gain, and I want us to experience continuous weight loss. So there is a method to my madness.

Update – I decided to stay on Scarsdale until I lose all of my weight, since it’s easy, healthy, and cost effective. Plus it works.

Getting Fit

It’s OK to lose weight fast, as long as you add an exercise component that also gets you toned and keeps you fit. All of our exercise information will be posted on the Lose Weight/ Stay Fit page. There’s exercise advice for people who don’t have time, folks who are traveling, and those who can’t do anything too strenuous. The important thing is not to slow your metabolism as you cut calories to  lose weight fast.

Let’s Get Started!

While there are daily menus to follow, I will simplify by telling you that the key to losing weight fast on the  Scarsdale Diet is to keep it simple – eat the basic breakfast, have the fruit salad luncheach day, and for dinner have meat(all visible fat trimmed,  no skin on your chicken) or fish with a vegetable or salad.  You can snack on carrots, baby carrots and celery as much as you want – since it is winter I suggest a soup with some low sodium broth, carrots and/or celery, and some salt-free seasoning, black pepper and any other seasonings that you like. You can drink the soup between meals when you feel hungry, or at night while watching TV or surfing the internet.

Also, you may find yourself experiencing some fatigue or tiredness on the diet, this can be fixed with a multivitamin. I take one that is in liquid form – because my husband is a wuss and can’t swallow big pills.

One half grapefruit -if not available,use fruits* in season
One slice of protein bread**, toasted, no spread added ( I will be drizzling a little olive oil on mine)
Coffee /tea (no sugar, cream or milk, no honey)

One half cup low-fat pot cheese or cottage cheese, mixed with One tablespoon of low-fat sour cream. Sliced fruit, all you want (eat until you are satisfied)
6 halves of walnuts or pecans or almonds or sunflower seeds, whole or chopped, and mixed with the above or sprinkled over the fruit
Coffee/tea/no-sugar diet soda of any flavor
(Tip: puree the cottage cheese & sour cream to make a whipped topping, serve over mixed fruit & top w/ chopped nuts for a “sundae”)

Shopping List, remember to eat only what you like ( I hate canned tuna, so I won’t be eating any, not that crazy about Brussel Sprouts so I may have broccoli or some other green veggie), and to stick as closely as you can to things that your family can eat also, this way you don’t go over your grocery shopping budget.

Your Shopping List

Protein Bread – Whole grain wheat, low carb.
Grapefruits  6
Assorted Fruits – whatever fruits you like, this is for your fruit salad
Lemons / Limes
Celery and Carrots or Baby Carrots (you can eat as much of these as you want each day)
Cucumbers ,Tomatoes,Lettuce (green leaf, romaine, red leaf) – basic salad fixings
Mushrooms ,Brussels sprouts ,Zucchini ,Green peppers, String beans, Spinach,
Eggplant, Yellow Squash etc for diced cooked vegetables, Cabbage, Broccoli, Cauliflower
These are optional (but are for flavoring your food) -onion, scallions, leeks, shallots,garlic,fresh or dried herbs (parsley, thyme, cilantro, basil, oregano, rosemary, ginger,chives, etc.)
Lean hamburger, Lamb, Chicken, Turkey, Fish/Seafood , Steak, Canned Tuna or salmon salad
Low-fat cottage cheese
Low-fat sour cream
Assorted cheese slices ( I love sharp cheddar, provolone, swiss, get low fat choices)
walnuts or pecans or almonds or unsalted sunflower seeds
olives and a bottle of olive oil ( it’s been proven to be heart healthy ,gets rid of belly  fat, and helps you to lose weight fast)
Vegetable Broth & Low Sodium Chicken Stock (these can be homemade by saving your cooking liquids; add carrots & celery for a hot soup snack)
vinegar (balsamic, apple cider, rice wine, red wine, etc)
mustard (dijon, etc)
salt & pepper
barbeque sauce
oil-free cooking spray (olive oil pam)
artificial sweetener (splenda, equal, sweet & low,stevia)
Coffee,Tea (get Green Tea),Diet Soda


  • Cooking with herbs, seasonings, spices, grated onion, minced parsley is recommended.
  • Salt, Non-stick vegetable spray, cocktail sauce, ketchup, chili sauce & mustard are all permitted, but should be used within MODERATION.
  • Vegetables not permitted are corn, peas, potatoes, lentils and any beans, except green or waxed.
  • Where no portion is indicated, you can eat as much as you like.
    Eat until you are satisfied, not stuffed.
  • Between meals you can snack on carrots, celery, and low sodium vegetable broth
  • Count your calories – they should be between 850 – 1000 a day.
  • Keep a chart and weigh yourself every day for the fourteen days – come back and share your weight loss success or vent if nothing is happenin. I’m sure we can find a tweak for you.

Here is the Basic Diet – it’s a rinse and repeat plan, meaning day 1-7 gets repeated for day 8-14; there are several variations on the diet in the book (The Complete Scarsdale Medical Diet: Plus Dr. Tarnower’s Lifetime Keep-Slim Program) which is quite cheap and once you see how quickly you can take the weight off and keep it off, you will definitely want your own copy. Let’s get started on our quick fast weight loss program!

Assorted cold cuts(leftover chicken, steak, fish etc.)
Tomatoes – sliced, broiled, or stewed
Coffee/Tea/Diet Soda/Water
Fish or shellfish, any kind
Combination salad, any greens and vegetables as you wish
One slice protein bread toasted
Grapefruit – if not available, use fruits in season
Coffee/Tea/Diet Soda/Water
Fruit salad, any combination of fruits
[substitute lunch recommended – see bottom of page]
Coffee/Tea/Diet Soda/Water
Plenty of broiled, lean hamburger
Tomatoes, lettuce, celery, olives (limit 4), cucumbers
and/or Brussels Sprouts
Coffee/Tea/Diet Soda/Water
Tuna fish or salmon salad (oil drained off)
with lemon and vinegar dressing
Grapefruit, or melon, or fruit in season
Coffee/Tea/Diet Soda/Water
Sliced roast lamb***, all visible fat removed
Salad of lettuce,tomatoes,cucumbers,celery
Coffee/Tea/Diet Soda/Water
*** Can be subsituted with fish, seafood, chicken or turkey, or veg protein
Two eggs, any style (no fat used in cooking)
Low-fat cottage cheese
Zucchini, or string beans, or sliced/stewed tomatoes
One slice of protein bread, toasted
Coffee/Tea/Diet Soda/Water
Roast, broiled or barbequed chicken (skin and visible fat removed before eating)
Plenty of spinach, green peppers, string beans
Coffee/Tea/Diet Soda/Water
Assorted cheese slices (preferably lowfat)
Spinach, all you want
One slice of protein bread, toasted
Coffee/Tea/Diet Soda/Water
Fish or shellfish
Combination salad (any fresh vegetables desired, raw or cooked)
One slice of protein bread, toasted
Coffee/Tea/Diet Soda/Water
Fruit salad, any combination of fruits
[substitute lunch recommended]
Coffee/Tea/Diet Soda/Water
Roast turkey or chicken
Salad of tomatoes and lettuce
Grapefruit or fruit in season
Coffee/Tea/Diet Soda/Water
Cold or hot turkey or chicken
Tomatoes, carrots, cooked cabbage, broccoli or cauliflower
Grapefruit, or fruit in season
Coffee/Tea/Diet Soda/Water
Plenty of broiled (grilled) steak, all visible fat removed before eating; any cut of steak you wish- sirloin, porterhouse, London broil, etc.
Salad of lettuce, cucumbers, celery, tomatoes (sliced or cooked)
Brussels Sprouts

Please come back for more tips on how to lose weight fast!

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