10 Cool Things About Having a Foley Catheter

1. You can pee anywhere ..oh for crying out loud, you didn’t really believe that title did you? It’s what you call a loss leader, just a little something to get you into the store. I had a second surgery last week – no, not because the first one didn’t take- to repair my ureter which was kinked or sutured or ignored in such a way as to cause my birth canal to become Niagara Falls.

I can’t help thinking that if my gyn-surgeon had listened to me when I said “do not take all of my lady parts” I wouldn’t be lying here writing this. On “Burn Notice” Fiona would say “Should we shoot them?“. I think of her every time I tell someone new about what has happened to me , because they always ask “Can you sue them?”

Truth is that I probably could sue them but I’m a bleeding heart liberal (or so my right wing friends tell me) and I don’t see the fucking point in bringing a suit. Wait, let me go ahead and digress here :

When you are in recovery, you are fair game for anyone who wants to make a dishonest dollar. Please be careful. Stop being such a control freak, and turn your debit card and financial decisions over to your significant other or your Mom or some responsible adult other than you with the fuzzy mind and the inability to remember the words that you need to describe things and end sentences. End of digression.

So back to this lawsuit. My sister says that I shouldn’t do it for money but I should at least do it for all of the other women who could be hurt by this doctor, as well as what I have lost because my recovery  from the first surgery never ended and so far this recovery has been no bed of tulips or whatever. I just want to get better and get back to work and life. I don’t want to spend a lot of time with lawyers or in courts. I don’t want to hurt any nice people (my gyn is a really nice lady) or ruin their practice /life. We’ll see.

So how do I feel? I feel even more emotional now than I did after the first one – because whatever residual hormones I had left are gone baby gone. I feel tired most of the time, short forays from my bed only provide a reason to go back to bed. I have kept a temperature above 99 every afternoon and evening since coming home (we can discuss some other time why they sent me home 24 hours after my surgery, even though my insurance approved a 4 night stay). This catheter is slowly sucking my energy and life-force (although I did manage to score an Amazon deal a few minutes ago,so I still have some juice).

I am sure that there are people who enjoy having catheters and I am also sure that they are really old and just tired of getting out of bed in the middle of the night to go potty.


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