Get What You Want Out Of Life-Lose The Victim Mentality

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What is a Victim mentality? My dear husband describes this as your inner martyr. That part of you that gets pleasure out of thinking: “Poor me, I will never be pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough. I’m just a waste of human DNA; someone please put me out of my misery”.

The victim is your excuse for:

  • not getting the pretty girl or rich guy

  • coming up short on the promotion at work

  • not closing that prospect

Just fill in the blanks on what you don’t deserve and why. If things are not going your way, you can just call in the Victim, and shed a few tears over your own ineptitude as you just quit trying to succeed at anything at all.

Just fill in the blanks on what you don’t deserve and why. If things are not going your way, you can just call in the Victim, and shed a few tears over your own ineptitude as you just quit trying to succeed at anything at all.

The Victim in you survives by replaying your inner DVD of errors and missteps in your life thus far. If you want more out of this life you have to quit reliving your past. Learn from your mistakes and move on!

I am going to use celebrities as an example here: I am sure you’ve read in the tabloids about some star that, early on, got everything that they wanted. But their Victim tells them everyday that this is not a life that they deserve; the Victim is judge and jury and causes them to make decisions on a daily basis that are guaranteed to prove this out. Driving drunk, committing suicide at the height of their careers, being publicly promiscuous, the list is endless when it comes to the damage that some celebrities inflict on themselves and the people who care about them.

We get out of this life exactly that which matches our expectations, and if you are expecting the worst you will get the worst. If your inner Victim insists that you don’t deserve any better – well, then you don’t. To gain small victories we must let go of our Victim mentality. Lose the Victim and gain a life of happiness and abundance.

How do you let go of your Victim mentality? Well you have to put different thoughts into the compartments of your mind. Fill those spaces with thoughts of future successes small and large; don’t focus on your lack of funds, instead think about what you are going to do with all that money when it’s just sitting in your bank account; replace the words fat, chunky and overweight with thin, healthy, and svelte. In short, you must spring clean your mind and rearrange the furnishings (and change the locks while you’re at it) so that the Victim becomes a homeless person.

Stay focused on your desires, live in the moment secure in the belief that you deserve to live your best life.

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The Great Surrender| Learning How To Let Go

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In ” Living the Science of the Mind” author Ernest Holmes introduces the idea that in our search for that which makes us “whole and happy”, “safe and secure” and confident that we will “live forever somewhere” it would be wise to follow the rules that Jesus laid down for us. One of the most important in this case being “he that loseth his life for my sake, will find it”.

This, of course, means different things to different people. I cannot tell you what it ought to mean to you, but I can tell you that in this recession, there are many who need to hear this.

Once upon a time I thought  that I was losing everything – the American Express Gold card with unlimited spending, my road trip mini-van with built in DVD player, my great credit score, and the hidden wealth in my 401K. This was like death for me, my credit worthiness was so important, my possessions were so important.

In my despair, I received a revelation – there is life and there is stuff .  My stuff did not define my life, my stuff did not define me.

I realized that I had to shed these things that only created noise in my life, so that I could find the part of God  that lives in me. I had to turn from the outer to the inner and find peace and abundance within myself.

This led me to believe that the first step on the path to success is surrender.  Ernest Holmes mentions, this surrender does not mean that we should live in poverty or limitation, but that “when we put our trust in external things alone we are certain to become disillusioned, for a person may have a fortune one day and lose it the next; he may have a position of high power and suddenly lose all public acclaim”.

The Great Surrender means to let go of all the things that have gotten between you and your Spiritual self. To release the things that you thought put you above the rest of humanity. Sometimes we have to be stripped of just about everything before we find the true meaning and purpose of our life.

Do you remember that song by Kenny Rogers “The Gambler” where he says “You gotta know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run”?  Our Father has promised us a whole and complete life, a life without struggle, a life of abundance. But when we choose to  fight for the unnecessary things in life, we effectively reduce our ability to attain these blessings.

“Fear not little flock, for it is your father’s good pleasure to give you the Kingdom.”

I’d love to hear your thoughts on surrender and learning to let go, please leave a comment whether you agree or disagree with me.

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